Some people find it difficult to forgive because of the gravity of what was done to them, cases like rape, jilts, betrayal etc. It’s a choice and a big decision to make. It takes great effort and help from God. The word of God is very clear on forgiveness. (Colossians 3:13 ∼ Accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive). (Ephesians 4:31-32 ∼ All bitterness, anger, wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.) God has our best interests at heart when He commands us. It may be difficult but if you do not forgive it would definitely leave you worse off spiritually, emotionally and sometimes even physically. Unforgiveness is like poison that kills you slowly, it ruins you and eats deep into your soul. Some people live horrible life styles, destroying their bodies and lives out of hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness. Don’t be miserable because of somebody, worse, don’t miss heaven because of somebody. The person who offended you may have repented to God and is basking in the glory and wealth of God while you just deplete and waste away. As possible as it is, live at peace with all men. Romans 12:18; Hebrews 12:14.
How do I forgive someone who really hurt me? Family, friend, partner, enemy, How do I even avoid getting hurt and offended?
Book Review: Avoiding the trap of being offended by Kenneth .W.Haggin
I happened to be at a friend’s place when I came across this book. I knew I wanted to write something on forgiveness because I needed to get better too and when I saw this book on the shelf, I literally felt like a child who just found candy.
In a bid to keep this as precise as possible, I would just highlight some important points below:
- Unforgiveness may hinder your prayers. Oh yes! (Mark 11:26 ∼ And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses). If you understand the principle of faith but you don’t understand principles of forgiveness, you are going to be weak and unstable in your christian walk.
- If you do not forgive, neither will your father in heaven (Very scary but true). (Matthew 6:15 ∼ But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses.)
- If you truly forgive, you have to forget. forget here means you don’t dwell on it, and you do not carry it in your heart. Harboring unforgiveness will spiritually bankrupt you.
- Self-consciousness and jealousy are causes of unforgiveness. It’s not always all about you, you know. No one is perfect, deal with it and don’t carry baggage. Note to self.
- You know you haven’t forgiven when you speak evil about the person, you resent the person’s blessings, you rejoice at the person’s misfortune. True test of unforgiveness. Check yourself, let go and be free.
- You grow bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart when you associate with people who see nothing wrong with it. They help you fuel the hatred and bitterness in your heart. Keep the right company.
- To escape the snare of unforgiveness and bitterness you need to first of all realize that people and situations will always try to offend you, recognize that this is a spiritual attack of the enemy (Ephesians 6:12) and make a conscious effort to refuse bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart through the help of God by studying and living the word of God. This is the most important.
- Finally walk in love. God is love. The greatest form which was Jesus who forgave us and died for our sins even while we were yet sinners. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us all that love is and is not. Love forgives, it does not take offense.
Someone else’s wrong actions cannot keep you out of the will of God but your wrong reaction can. The biggest revenge is success, nothing beats succeeding over a betrayal and hurt. Why fail in life when you can forgive. Forgive and be FREE!