As different as we all are, so are the means by which we share, express and feel love. If for any reason someone truly loves you as a friend or significant other and they have tried to show you in numerous ways but you still don’t feel the love, this is why.
Love is a key element of any relationship, romantic or otherwise and it is very important to show the people we love how much we do.
Gary Chapman introduced the concept of 5 love languages in his best selling book and many have bought into this psychology of love. It is not enough to know what these love languages are but to understand the importance they play in successful relationships.
You may fall into one or more, maybe even all categories of the 5 love languages below.
Words of Affirmation:
Some people do not mind going weeks and even months without hearing words of affirmation from their significant other and friends, on the other hand, some can not phantom a healthy relationship without verbal or written reminder of love and affection. If you love hearing how much you are loved and appreciated then you would be associated with the words of affirmation love language. For you, actions may not necessarily speak louder volumes than words.
Many misconstrue quality time spent with friends and loved ones to mean some vacation or mini getaway, however, as little as letting go of every distraction and paying listening ears and attention to a loved one is all it takes to let them know how much they are loved. Quality time may also mean being physically and emotionally available for someone with this love language.
You would be surprised to know that not everyone is captivated by shower of gifts and expensive display of affection. Some people just appreciate the thoughtfulness and effort put into gifts and for some, they just need something to feel and remember they are loved especially in your absence. The little things matter in as much as there is an initiative to show love in a way the person understands.
Acts of Service:
There is no better way to show some people how much you love them than getting things done for them. Helping them get their projects done, promote their endeavours, and even some house chores communicates that you love them. The little acts of service matter the most to some and it’s the best way to show love.
This is unfortunately also misconstrued by some to mean sex. There is more to physical touch than sex. It could entail just holding hands, light stroking and cuddling. Some animals are known to differentiate their partners by stroking and for many people, a little or more public display of affection by physical touch means the world to them. A lot of people feel disconnected in relationships where they are not pulled close enough.
Having understood the different love languages, it can be argued that there are other love languages. However, the key takeaway is that a successful relationship is fuelled by many things and love is one of them.
It is important to understand and speak the language of love that your friends and significant partner understand else, there would be wasted and unappreciated efforts leading to discontent in relationships. This causes strain in relationships and in some severe cases, demise of the relationship.
If you truly love someone, you should make significant effort to learn how to speak their love language. Not only would there be more appreciation shown, it would definitely help build a stronger bond.
Have you discovered your love language or that of your significant other? What is your love language?
Discover more about love languages here.