A good number of ladies will remember that sacred ‘list’ of their ideal man or relationship. Mine was very detailed, I kept it for a long time but lost it somewhere in transit as I moved a lot.
Different schools of thought surround the idea of drawing out a list for an ideal partner. Some people feel it is not necessary while others are religious about it. What it helped me do, was focus on what I wanted, what I didn’t want and helped me pray towards it.
I am that woman who is quite intentional about important things and to me, relationships/friendships are an important aspect of life.
There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about in seeking a beautiful relationship and of course different ingredients contribute to the recipe for a successful one.
Before going forward, can we not talk about love? This is the last time I would mention it in this article. No offense, of course I know love is important. Oops! I mentioned it again. Last time, I promise.
It is quite surprising how the best thing is often considered least in the hierarchy of things when seeking or maintaining a relationship hence why we often tend to hold on even when we should let go.
“The best thing to seek for in a relationship”.
What really is it? You might be asking already. Before I mention it, I would tell you why it is indeed the best ingredient for your relationship.
Imagine going on a journey that is already tough or maybe even easy for you, on this journey, you’re heading to a place you have envisioned and dreamed. It is only fair that you encounter people who make it better and easier for you to reach your destination.
Life is a journey and having relationships that make it easier for you is the most important and best thing you can gift yourself.
Bearing in mind that the onus of living purposefully and happily depends largely on you, it is imperative to invest in relationships that help you build and become a better version of yourself.
If it doesn’t make you better, let go! Of course, it is easier said than done, but I repeat, let go!
Given that relationships are two-way, this is of course vice versa. What are we doing if we are not making each other better, helping each other grow and making this journey a tad bit easier and fun regardless of the bumps on the road?
Why do I need someone to make me better, you might ask. Like I mentioned earlier, this depends largely on you but you really don’t need someone to make you worse off.
How can you determine if someone you’re in a relationship with makes you better?
Irrespective of whether it is a romantic or unromantic relationship, consider the next areas of discussion very helpful.
Consider your wholesome being in every relationship.
Everybody is in someway physical, emotional, spiritual, social and whatever makes you whole, you get the picture.
Your mental and emotional state of health drive majority of your everyday activities.
You really do not want to be in a relationship that messes your emotional state one way or the other. There are so many ways to alter one’s emotions.
Lack of communication, respect, fidelity, trust and other shenanigans will most often than not spark a plug that impedes your emotional richness and robustness. I have seen how adversely emotional instability from wrong relationships affect not just the direct person, but also others around them. It transcends to basically other aspects of their lives.
Life could be so busy and difficult, there are so many things fighting for your attention, it would be so beautiful to be with people of great personality who make you laugh it out, smile and invest in your good emotions and mental state.
Your relationships should be like a partnership; mutual investments, dedication and commitment towards growth, development and profitability.
Assessing how symbiotic your relationships are would do you so much good. You should seek to build and grow together. A good number of people will at some point in their lives encounter parasitic people who only leech for their own benefits and self gratification. This weighs you down on your purpose driven journey.
Partnership in relationships cannot be overemphasized. You do not want to wake up every morning to someone who makes you feel inferior and without value or conversely, someone who depends on you totally for everything.
You should be willing to work together and stick with each other even when the going is rough.
Let’s talk about spirituality.
Some people come into your life and you instantly or gradually notice how drawn back you become spiritually. It is definitely time to re-evaluate such relationships. Is he or she making you better or worse?
Sometimes we become so consumed with the thought of being with someone and we forget God is even more important.
If we indeed want the best for each other, we should be striving towards a better relationship with God together.
The ability of friends and partners to steer us towards our life goals should never be taken lightly.
We all have goals and aspirations spanning across, career, finance, business, family and the list goes on. You should be going into relationships that help you build towards these goals. If your finances, career aspirations, desire for family are falling apart solely due to the presence of someone in your life, that should indicate a red flag.
No matter how vague your dreams get, you need someone with the ability to guide you with support and ideas, and no matter how little they are, you need someone with the ability to help you expand and aim higher without belittling you.
“The best thing to seek for in a relationship”.
So many important factors play out in relationships but indeed, someone who holds your hand, builds with you, helps you grow and become a better you is the best thing you should seek for.
Have you checked out the top discussions to have before marriage?